


another set of issues

by danishsweethearts



Series: Batfam Week 2020 [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Age Swap, Batfam Week 2020, Dimension Travel, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Gen, Introspection, Role Reversal, most people in this fic arent having a good day, wild amounts of confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23106241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danishsweethearts/pseuds/danishsweethearts
Summary: Batfamily, meet Reverse Batfamily. No holds barred, no penalties, no time limit. Cage match. (Day 4: Reverse Batfam)
Relationships: Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, and all variations thereof
Series: Batfam Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658782
Comments: 53
Kudos: 748
Collections: Dick & Ensemble, everybody loves dick





	another set of issues

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT 12/03/20: okay, the first version of this fic is a testament to why i shouldn't write at 1 in the morning. i uh, meant to go through and fix some of the pacing issues and flesh out some bits and give some characters more dialogue, and then i accidentally added... almost 3k... to the fic? um. oops.
> 
> i actually have a lot lot lot of thoughts about how the batfam dynamics would change w reverse robins except its 1 am im too tired to say anything

Standing gathered here, it’s the closest thing they’ve had to a ‘family meeting’ in the many years that this family has been cobbling together. Which is, granted, more sad than anything, but Dick’s also very aware of the fact that if there had been family meetings prior to this moment, they would’ve ended in bloodshed and possibly murder. Some things happen, or don’t, for a reason.

The only person they’re missing is the patriarch, but considering the way this day has been going so far, it’s probably for the best that he’s not present. Dick sighs, and wonders why they can’t just have  _ one _ normal day.

“Alright,” he says, “run that by me again one more time.”

Jason scowls. “You heard me the first time,” he accuses. He’s right, Dick did hear him the first time, but he really,  _ really  _ needs confirmation on this.

“Yes,” Dick says, trying to dip into the endless preserves of patience he supposedly has according to everybody else in this fucking family, “I just wanted to hear you say it again,”

Jason takes in a deep breath. He says, jaw clenched, “I ran into a witch. She was trying to take over Gotham. I was like, fuck no you’re not. She said that she would banish me and all my buddies if I didn’t get out of her way,”

Dick nods. “And then you said…”

Jason glares at him, poisonous even though the eyemask. “I said,  _ I’d like to see you try, you ugly punk ass bitch,” _

Those mythical pools of patience seem further away with every second. Dick sighs. “And now we’re banished. All of us.”

Jason nods slowly. “Every single one of this sad flock, yes.”

Dick can’t be sure whether Jason is including himself in the  _ sad flock _ because he means it, or because he’s trying to manipulate sympathy out of Dick. Possibly both. 

He says, “You came across a magic user, didn’t call for any backup, goaded her even though you had no idea of her capabilities, and now every single person in this family except for B and A has been  _ ‘banished’.” _

“Yeah,” Jason replies, unrepentant. “That’s a pretty good summary.”

This never happened with the Titans. After this is over, Dick is going back to California and never leaving.

He sighs, and looks over to the rest of the group. He and Jason had stepped aside to talk, but everybody had obviously been eavesdropping anyway, because this family has no concept of privacy. 

Damian looks incredibly disgruntled. He’s the only one out of costume, since it had been one of his nights off. 

Dick would be worried about people catching sight of Damian Wayne in his pyjamas surrounded by a bunch of vigilantes, except he can’t really bring himself to care about whatever weird alternate dimension they’ve landed in. He’s so  _ tired _ of dimension travel and all that bullshit. One world is already way too much to deal with.

“Alright, guys,” he calls. Damian, Steph, Tim, Cass and Jason all look up. He guesses it’s gratifying how they all snap to attention. No guarantees that they’ll follow what he says, but the initial reaction is nice. “We should try to figure out what kind of place this is. Keep your wits about you, and nobody’s allowed to wander off alone. Buddy system is a go, alright?”

Steph grabs Cass’ hand. Tim rolls his eyes and pulls Jason’s jacket sleeve. Damian meets Dick’s eyes, and they nod at each other. Alright. Everyone’s paired off, at least. 

“Are our comms working?” he asks.

Tim taps his comm and says, “Testing, testing. I want it on the record that Jason owes us so bad after this,”

It, surprisingly, comes through crystal clear on the comms. Wow. That’s a nice discovery among all of the nonsense they’ve had to deal with today.

Steph, over her comm, says, “Seconded.”

Dick turns on his comm too and says, “That’s a copy, Red. We’ve got that on record,”

Jason angrily pulls his helmet back on and through the inbuilt comm, snaps, “You all fucking suck,”

Before any of them can say anything, something else comes through on the channel.

“Hey,” says somebody in Jason’s voice, albeit a bit higher than normal and much calmer, “what the actual fuck is going on right now?”

_ Oh. _

Okay, Dick should’ve probably guessed that the reason their comms are working is that they’re tuned into the same frequency as the comms their alternate selves are using, but in his defense, it’s been a long fucking day.

It’s probably only going to get longer. Oh god.

* * *

Damian frowns at the sight in front of him. He honestly… does not know what to make of this situation. Although he is aware that dimension travel and such exists, due to being in mild proximity with the Flashes and Booster Gold, he has never expected to be faced with it himself. Or be faced with…  _ himself. _

Especially as a child. It is disconcerting to watch this younger version of him scowl and sulk. Moreover, it is unbecoming. Especially since Damian remembers being quite a… reserved child. Hm. He will have to observe further.

There are six of them. One to correspond to each member of Damian’s own family. It seems that the most major change is that their ages have been reversed, with Richard being the eldest, but in addition, Damian cannot recognize any of the costumes they are wearing, or place their ages exactly.

At least they do not seem hostile. They all agreed to being handcuffed and placed under supervision in the cave, although, if they went through half the training that Damian’s family did, they should be able to escape from those restraints easily. That is probably why they agreed in the first place. 

He looks over to Jason, who sits on a table with his legs swinging.

Damian asks, “Do you know when Oracle will be arriving?” For posterity’s sake, he and Jason have both donned their masks and costumes, so Damian decides to keep to codenames for now as well. 

Jason shrugs. “Dunno. He said he had to pick up a few things along the way.”

“Wait,  _ he?” _ Adult Richard cuts in. “Who is Oracle in this universe?”

Damian raises an eyebrow. “And why exactly,” he says, “should I tell you?”

Damian had anticipated a variety of reactions to that comment, but one he had not was  _ hurt _ flashing across Adult Richard’s face. He blinks, trying to keep the confusion off of his face. What would this man have to be hurt over?

“That’s fair,” Richard says. “I guess you have no reason to trust me.”

Damian nods curtly. That is correct. He does not. 

As he turns back to look at Jason, he catches sight of his younger self. The child is… glaring, quite intensely, at Damian. He has no idea why.

Keeping his alternate self in his periphery, he tells Jason, “If he does not arrive in two minutes, call him again.”

Jason rolls his eyes, but nods in the affirmative. “Should I call Batman back too?”

Damian purses his lips. He does not miss how most of the alternate family perk up at the word  _ Batman. _ Interesting.

“No,” he replies. “We can handle this. Let him complete his mission.”

Truthfully, Damian is not sure how his father would react to this situation. Damian himself is having a difficult time picturing his life without being raised alone by his father, and he is well aware that he has had a great influence on Bruce’s life. How would it have changed, if Richard was the first one to arrive in that universe? How did it make any sense that  _ Damian _ was the last one to show up? Or was he still first, just as… a baby? 

It is even more difficult for Damian to envision a childhood outside of the League. He does not know what to make of this.

He is jolted out of his musing by Timothy, or who is presumably Timothy, leaning forward and saying, "So who are you guys? Not like, secret identities, even though we can kiiinda guess those. Vigilante identities. It's obvious we have some differences."

Damian considers it. There is little harm in stating their hero identities. They _ are _ public, after all.

"I am Shadow," he says. "That is Ares."

The one in the helmet snorts. "Wait," he says. Damian cannot identify his voice due to the modulator, but by process of elimination it has to be Jason. He is sitting apart from the others. Damian wonders why. 

Helmet Jason continues with, "You named yourself after the Greek god of war?"

Adult Richard says, “Jay, knock it off.”

Jason bristles. "Why is it any of your business, weirdo?" he snaps. "What's  _ your _ name, Carrothead?"

It is not Jason's most mature moment. Still, Damian knows that he is sensitive over the name situation. He does not intervene.

"Red Hood, at your service," Helmet Jason replies dryly. 

That makes Damian and Jason both pause. 

In this alternate universe,  _ Jason _ is Red Hood? Is it just the same name, and a different origin, or did.. Did what happened to Stephanie occur there too?

Damian does not want to entertain the idea, but the possibility of Jason getting murdered by his own father and then brought back to life in the League of Assassins enters his thoughts. 

It makes him feel sick. Jason is his stupid little brother, but he is still his brother.

Damian shoots Jason a glance. It must make him, Jason,  _ his _ Jason, who is alive and well and getting better every day, sick too. Looking somewhat green, Jason asks, "Um. You wouldn't have happened to… um, die and then come back to life, right?"

Red Hood pulls off his helmet. 

It is, in fact, Jason under the mantle. A little older, and much more haunted. Damian feels something inside of him sink. 

"That happened here too, huh?" he says with a cruel smile. "Which one of you was it?"

Before Damian can answer, a voice calls out "It was me."

Stephanie. Except neither Jason nor Damian had informed Stephanie, which means that somebody else did, which means—

Timothy pops up behind her, as well as Cassandra. 

"Hi," Tim says. "I brought backup. And popcorn." He holds up a bag of popped corn kernels. Damian sighs. He should have let Jason call Bruce.

"Oracle," he greets. "Black Bat. Red Hood."

Timothy waves, then stares at the array of alternate selves sitting in the Cave. 

"Wow," he says, "they're quite different, aren't they? Are you the  _ youngest  _ in that world, Shadow?"

"It would seem so," Damian replies. He notices that all of the alternate family are staring at Tim in various degrees of shock.

"Timmy," Adult Richard says,  _ "You're _ Oracle?" at the same time Alternate Timothy asks, “Am  _ I  _ Oracle?”

Tim makes a face. "I don't think we're on nickname basis yet,” he tells Adult Richard, “but yes. Who else would I be?" 

Jason, seeking safety in numbers, gets up from his perch to stand near Damian and the others. With a huff, he says, "Oh, so he doesn't get any shit for the Greek mythology name?"

“Jar,” Cassandra says. Jason rolls his eyes.

Alternate Stephanie, who has so far simply leaned her head on Cassandra's shoulder and whispered to her, asks, "What is Babs doing, then?"

The name… vaguely rings a bell.

"Babs?" Timothy asks. "We don't know a Babs. Do we know a Babs?"

Adult Richard gapes. "You don't know a Babs? Barbara Gordon?"

Damian looks at Cassandra. She has the same considering look on her face. He makes eye contact with her, and together, they both go through a silent process of elimination. 

The answer, when it comes, occurs to Damian first.

"Barbara Gordon," he begins. "The girl from Richard's karate class?"

Cassandra frowns and nods slowly. "I think so," she says. "The bright one."

_ "Oh," _ Jason says, "Red hair?"

"Wait, how do you all know this girl and I don't?" Timothy asks.

Cassandra shrugs. "Maybe if you picked Dick up from karate," she says. Damian appreciates the accusation he hears in her tone. Timothy does not.

"Need I remind you all I have a job," he mutters. 

"Family first, Oracle," Jason says solemnly. He ruins it by poking his tongue out at Timothy afterwards, but Damian agrees regardless.

He turns back to their alternate selves. "What is Barbara Gordon doing in your dimension?"

They all look at each other. Some silent communication seems to occur.

Adult Richard says, "She's Oracle. She's a part of the family." 

Damian does not know how he feels about the implication that Richard's loud friend from karate might join the family. To begin with, she is tiny. Smaller than Richard when he first started. Furthermore, she’s… loud.

Alternate Stephanie looks at Timothy. "Are you… do you go out onto the field?" She looks strange.

Timothy shrugs. "Sometimes," he says, "but mostly I man the computers."

"He's the eye in the sky," Cassandra says, with a smile. 

Jason laughs. "Or the man in the van."

"Hmm," Damian says. "The pain in my neck?"

Timothy scowls and leans over to flick Damian in the ear. Damian allows him to, mostly because it amuses him that Timothy has to rise up onto the balls of his feet to even reach. 

"Wow," Alternate Timothy says, his eyes wide. "That was… mild. I think they actually get along, demon brat."

Is that comment directed at Damian's alternate self? 

A look in the boy's direction confirms that his expression has grown even more stormy. 

"I have no interest in getting along with the likes of you, Drake," he snaps. “There is obviously something wrong with this universe,”

“Agreed,” Red Hood snorts.

Damian blinks. He had assumed that the dynamics between this family would've been similar to the ones in his, but he feels as though that assumption may be wrong. Damian has had issues with it in the past, but he has no problem admitting—at least to himself—that he deeply cares for his family. Is it not the same there?

Then again, Damian imagines being cast from his mother's side and arriving on his father's doorstep to see that he is not the only child. Damian does not know exactly how he would have reacted.

Perhaps he would have been a sulky brat too. Who can say.

Alternate Stephanie looks distressed about something. A whisper conversation has been occurring between her, Alternate Cassandra and Richard for some time now. Damian has been tuning out the constant whispers coming from that corner of the Cave, but he grows more curious with each moment.

Finally, they seem to reach a consensus, because Alternate Stephanie turns to Timothy. She gives him a once over.

She says, slowly and carefully, “In our world, Oracle can’t go out onto the field because of… an injury. Is it… is it the same here?”

Timothy blinks. “Oh,” he says. “Sorta? It’s a bit more of a hassle for me to get out there. I have to switch over to a specialized prosthetic,” 

Ripples of shock go through the other group. Alternate Timothy sits up straighter.

“A… prosthetic?” he asks, his eyes wide.

Timothy nods. Leaning down, he rolls up the leg of his suit until the prosthetic leg that starts just underneath his knee is exposed. “Tada,” he says, kicking it out into the air. “This is my normal one. I have a fancy Wayne Tech one for going out on missions,”

Alternate Timothy looks stricken. It is the first time Damian has realized that he must be younger than the Timothy of this dimension, as the maturity falls away with his shock. Even Red Hood Jason looks disturbed.

“Who did that to you?” he says, his voice so low it is almost a growl. He sounds angry, and his eyes have adopted a familiar green glow. The Lazarus Pit must have been involved, then. Damian wonders whether Red Hood Jason trained under his mother as well.

Stephanie clears her throat awkwardly. She says, “I did.”

“What?” Alternate Timothy hisses. 

Red Hood Jason whistles. “Jesus, Blondie,” he says.

Timothy closes his eyes and sighs. “No, you didn’t,” he says calmly.

Stephanie grimaces. “Kinda did there, Tim. You don’t have to defend my honour, especially not in front of people who I’m never going to see again.”

Timothy’s expression has closed down. Jason shifts, looking away. Even Cassandra clearly does not want to talk about this. 

It is not a memory Damian wants to relive, either. It had been a bad few months for all of them.

Exhaling loudly, Red Hood Jason quirks a smile at Stephanie. He says, “Well, at least now we know that you guys are also pretty fucked up. I was getting worried that it was just our universe.”

Stephanie does not smile back, but she does say, “Can’t have a family member die and come back to life without some complications, huh?”

There is a guarded, hunted look on Red Hood Jason’s face. Damian does not particularly like this version of Jason, but that is still his little brother’s face. He remembers seeing that look on Stephanie’s face, when she first revealed herself. 

He remembers the blood draining out of Cluemaster’s body underneath his fingers.

“Sure can’t,” Red Hood Jason says softly. 

Damian breathes out slowly. Adult Richard in particular looks remorseful, and despite the fact that Damian does not know this man, and seems to be the same age as him, something inside of him twinges. He wants to wipe that look away. Richard Grayson’s face, child or adult, is not one that harbours darkness well.

After that, the conversation dies down. Stephanie seems to be working herself into a mood now, because she has stepped away from the group, and keeps frowning to herself. Cassandra seems torn between going to her, and going to Damian, considering the looks she sends his way.

He simply waits for her to make a decision.

Finally, Cassandra shifts towards him, a frown on her face. Quietly, she murmurs, “I did not realize Stephanie still…” she pauses. “Still felt that way.”

Damian nods. Neither did he. It seems this cross-dimension travel has resulted in some revelations for them all.

“I think it would be best if somebody talked to her,” he says.

Cassandra nods. “Tim,” she says. Damian agrees. “But…”

One look at Timothy shows that he has pulled away from the group too, ignoring the looks of his alternate counterpart. Damian stares at Alternate Timothy, attempting to meet his eye and communicate that he needs to cut it the fuck out.

It does not work. 

Cassandra nestles closer to him. Head leaned against his shoulder, she follows his gaze. 

Some of the alternate family has noticed their scrutiny, because they stare back, watching the way Cassandra leans against Damian.

She asks, "Why are they handcuffed?"

"Safety precaution," he replies. 

Cassandra narrows her eyes at them. She stares for a few moments, her face blank.

Then, she turns to Damian and smiles. "I do not think they are dangerous," she says. She tilts her head. "Maybe only Red Hood."

Stephanie breathes out slowly. Pats her cheeks a few times, as if to wake herself up. She gives Cassandra a weak smile.

"Red Hood is supposed to be dangerous," she says. "It's a part of the allure,"

Red Hood Jason sends her a look. He seems to be appraising her, from the way his brow creases.

Apparently, he must approve of what he sees. He says, looking considerate. “Amen to that. You know, I think I like you most so far, Blondie,”

Jason scoffs.

Stephanie raises an eyebrow at Red Hood Jason. 

“Cannot say the same for you, but thanks, man!” she says, shooting finger guns in his direction. Damian rolls his eyes at the gesture, but Stephanie is met with snickers from Timothy, Jason and Cassandra. Some members of the alternate family laugh as well.

Red Hood Jason looks surprised. 

Alternate Stephanie leans over and pats him on the shoulder. “Ouch,” she says, “sorry you got rejected by my cool villainous alternate self,”

Cassandra frowns. “She is not a villain,” she says, stepping in front of Stephanie. “Are you a villain?” Cassandra directs that at Red Hood Jason, who scowls back at her.

“He’s not,” Adult Richard cuts in. He sends a glare at Red Hood Jason. “Don’t say anything,”

“Wasn’t going to, dickhead,” Red Hood Jason mutters back. 

The genuine vitriol in his tone catches Damian off guard. The other people in his family must notice it too, and must have been noticing it all along; there seems to be something… off, with this group. Damian does not understand what their relationships to each other are. Even though Stephanie has… been through what Red Hood Jason has, presumably, they do not treat her in the way that this family treats him. Damian’s alternate self has not even acknowledged anything Red Hood Jason has said.

Timothy frowns. Damian identifies it as the expression he makes when he is trying to solve something. 

“Do you guys not… like each other?” Timothy asks. He directed the question to everybody, but Timothy is looking at Adult Richard, probably having identified him as the unofficial leader. Damian meets gazes with Jason, Stephanie and Cassandra behind Timothy’s back.

It seems they have all picked up on it, and all want to know. They close ranks behind Timothy.

There are discomforted expressions on all of the alternate family, except for Red Hood Jason, who merely scowls, and Alternate Cassandra, whose face remains blank.

Alternate Timothy’s mouth sets in a thin line. He says, “Do  _ you _ guys like each other?”

Adult Richard sends Alternate Timothy a hurt look. Alternate Timothy does not drop his challenging gaze.

Damian trades looks with his family. There are always tensions, and there have always been disagreements and bad spots but… it is an absurd question. Regardless of their varying state of dysfunction, sometimes, Damian wakes up and the only thing that he is certain of is his family.

Cassandra narrows her eyes. “Yes,” she says, articulating the syllable clearly like she did when she was first learning English. Damian realizes that she is looking at her alternate self, who has said nothing so far.

Alternate Cassandra meets her gaze. She holds her head high and breaks away from Alternate Stephanie’s proximity. She stands up. Graceful. Measured. Even if Damian had not already known their identities, he could not mistake this for anybody but his sister.

Alternate Cassandra says, “We are family,” in a tone that brokers no argument. She looks at the people sitting alongside her. 

None of them have anything to say. She looks back to Cassandra.

Cassandra meets her gaze. There is a staredown, and although it is weird to see the two Cassandras facing off, and Damian is not sure why this is happening in the first place, strangely, all he feels is proud. Cassandra has grown into herself in a way that is breathtaking and hard-won. 

He cannot imagine living without this deep fondness for his family inside of him. 

The tension nears a peak. Everybody in the room is poised for action; nobody is sure of what is about to happen, but it is easy to sense that  _ something _ is about to occur.

Then, before it can reach a breaking point, the door at the top of the stairs in the Cave slams open.

Richard storms in, hands on his hips and scowling. He shouts,  _ “Gee whiz,  _ thanks for picking me up from school today, guys!” 

Oh, fuck. It had completely slipped Damian’s mind, with everything that had occured. He is pretty sure he was the one rostered to pick Richard up; he is going to have to grovel so much for his brother’s forgiveness.

Then again, Damian has a pretty good excuse.

Richard gets halfway down the stairs and properly gets a look at what exactly is going on on the Cave floor. Damian watches him process it: watches his squint, his look of confusion, and then sees the moment of realization.

“Woah,” Richard says. “What the fuck?”

“Jar,” Cassandra, Stephanie, Jason and Tim all chorus at the same time. 

* * *

Steph is just not sure about all this. She thinks, if she had to rank it, the weirdest things about this universe would probably be that  _ she _ is the fucking  _ Red Hood, _ then that  _ Tim _ is  _ Oracle  _ (and has a detachable leg!) _ ,  _ and then that Damian is… well, like that.  _ Mature. _ Not… Damian.

It’s all very, very weird. Up until about seven minutes ago, she would’ve declared this experience an all-around terrible time.

Then a tiny, minature,  _ miniscule _ version of Dick Grayson had stormed into the cave, and all of this weirdness was made worth it.. Like, holy  _ shit, _ he’s minature, and somehow exactly like and exactly unlike what Steph thought a younger Dick would be.

For one, he doesn’t shut up. After getting over the shock of seeing them, and then ribbing his older siblings for forgetting to pick him up, he has started talking and just hasn’t stopped. It’s glorious.

“Look at me!” Tiny Dick—man, she has got to stop calling him that—crows, staring up at Dick. They had all been released from the handcuffs after…  _ Miniwing? _ Hm, it has potential. After Miniwing’s arrival. Probably since the other Bats are finally not outnumbered. Or maybe because he just softens them up. 

“Look at my costume! Oh my god! I am  _ so cool in the future!” _ God, he’s practically bouncing around Dick. It’s a really excellent distraction from all the tension from before. Did he come in, read the room, and decide that he had to do something? Or is he just that excited?

Considering that this is Dick Grayson she's talking about, it could really go either way.

Strange Oracle Tim laughs, ruffling Miniwing’s hair. “This isn’t your future, remember. Maybe in this one you grow up to wear Shadow’s ugly costume,”

Strange Mature Adult Damian gives Tim an unimpressed look. “From the person who considers bulky goggles an appropriate accessory, I can hardly consider that an insult,” he says dryly. God, does Damian really get so good at insults in the future? Right now, his best is usually calling somebody a cretin or worthless. In comparison, Strange Mature Adult Damian is a wordsmith.

Actually, it’s kind of odd in general to see Damian and Tim, even weird alternate versions of them, getting along. Steph and Cass keep pointing out the pinched expressions that Tim and Damian always have after those exchanges to each other, and it’s kind of fucking endlessly funny.

Miniwing moves on from fawning over Dick to next person of interest, which is of course Damian. Steph smiles at the sight. Of course that’s one of the things that carries over universes. 

Damian’s still sitting on the ground, arms crossed and scowls sent at anybody who looks his way. As Miniwing approaches, it seems like Damian can’t decide whether or not he should be met with hostility. After all, he is Dick Grayson. Just… smaller.

Then, Miniwing sits down next to him and says, “Hi, Dami! Can I call you Dami? I’m gonna call you Dami.”

Steph watches as all the goodwill physically drains from Damian. Damn. She’s a little worried for Miniwing’s safety.

Damian  _ growls _ at Miniwing and snaps, “I have no interest in speaking with you.”

“Woah,” Dick says, “Damian. Back it up.” 

He sends a worried look at Strange Mature Adult Damian and the others, but they seem unperturbed. Edgy Prep Girl Cass is sitting on a table, legs crossed and chin propped on her hands. Strange Oracle Tim and Nice Prep Nerd Jason seem to be discussing something, and don’t even spare a look towards Miniwing. Strange Mature Adult Damian just watches on. 

Actually, if Steph had to say, she would place his expression as almost amused. It’s fucking weird.

Miniwing grins at Damian. “Wow, you’re an asshole, huh?” he says, in the same cheery tone he’s been speaking in the entire time.

“Jar,” Edgy Prep Girl Cass calls. What is it with them and the jar? Should Steph start a swear jar? She could probably get so many funds out of Jason.

Damian narrows his eyes. “And you seem to be a tiny, inferior version of Grayson. Would you like to trade any more inane observations?”

“Wow,” Steph whispers to Cass, “Damian’s really got his claws out.”

Cass smiles serenely. “He is… unsure. And making up for it,” she observes.

Dick leans over to them and murmurs, “Overcompensating,” providing the appropriate vocabulary. Cass nods. 

With a smile, Dick says, “He’s got no clue what to do,”

Well, when it’s framed in that way, it is kind of cute. In Damian’s weird, emotionally constipated assassin child way. Steph smiles at the sight.

Miniwing doesn’t seem affected by Damian’s constant rebuffal. If anything, he seems more egged on. Well, it does check out.

Standing up, Miniwing says, “Who are you calling tiny? I’m pretty sure we’re the same height, Dami. If anything, you’re shorter than me,”

Everyone currently sitting in this cave can recognize a challenge when they hear one, and Damian’s never been able to back down from anything. Especially if it’s a challenge from his beloved mentor in compact, hyperactive form. 

With another dark scowl, Damian gets up.

Oh, holy Batman, Robin  _ and _ Batgirl. Miniwing had been right. Damian’s probably just shy of a centimetre, but their eyes  _ just _ don’t line up, and Miniwing can tell that he’s victorious already. He’s grinning, watching the way Damian frowns and then frowns again.

“I’m taller!” he exclaims, pumping a fist in the air. “Shadow, I’m  _ taller than you!” _

When Steph looks over to Strange Mature Adult Damian, she’s shocked to see an actual amused smile on his face. “So you are, Richard,” he says. “Congratulations.”

Damian immediately turns around and looks at Dick. “Grayson!” he demands. “Who is taller, me or this cretin?”

There it is. Stephanie nudges Jason, who rolls his eyes and hands her a dollar. 

“Cretin wins every time, dude,” she tells him. 

“Whatever,” Jason says, a half-smile on his face. “He’s been using scum a lot more lately. I’ll get you one day,”

Steph snorts. “You can dream, Jay,” she says. Jason looks like he wants to smile, but is stopping himself, which in Steph’s books is as good as. At the very least, he doesn’t look so displaced and upset anymore. Fuck yeah. She’s a family bond forging master.

“Grayson!” Damian yells again, much more shrilly. It looks like Dick has realized that this is more than simply height to Damian, and is trying to figure out what the best route forward is.

God, Steph loves Damian, she does, but she does not envy Dick for being the centre of his attentions.

Dick smiles, walks over, and ruffles both Miniwing and Damian’s hair. “I’m Switzerland,” he declares. Damian tsks.

Tim shoots a bored look in Damian’s direction and says, “He’s obviously taller. Get over yourself, Damian.”

It’s a good thing that Damian is out of costume, or else the projectiles would be flying right now.

Strange Oracle Tim says, “Should I be concerned that my alternate self seems to enjoy bullying a kid that looks like he’s 10?”

Tim snorts. “You don’t know him like I do.”

Nice Prep Nerd Jason says, “You had no problem bullying me when I was a kid.” He’s not looking at Strange Oracle Tim. Steph can’t tell if he’s joking or not. He sounds kinda serious.

Strange Oracle Tim gives an exaggerated sigh and says, “I’m not getting into this in front of guests, Ares,”

In the awkward silence that follows, Damian clears his throat. He mutters, “Actually, I am twelve.” 

It’s a move designed to save face, but it backfires dramatically.

Miniwing gasps. “I’m  _ thirteen!” _ he crows. “Shadow, I’m taller and older than you! And you were a brat when you were a kid! This is the best day of my  _ life! _ ”

Steph turns back to Strange Mature Adult Damian, because surely that string of comments warrants some sort of negative reaction, but he just smiles again. 

“I am glad you seem to be having fun,” Strange Mature Adult Damian says fondly. “Do try and be nice to my alternate self, Richard.”

That seems to remind Miniwing of something, because he clicks his fingers and goes “Ah, that’s right!”

Damian stares at him suspiciously. Steph thinks it might have occured to Damian that this younger version of Dick could be too much for him to handle. It’s amazing to see.

Steph leans further into Cass’ shoulder and enjoys the show.

“So,” Miniwing asks, “What’s your deal? Are you like, Pyjama Boy?”

Damian scowls. “Do not be ridiculous,” he says, before stopping to puff his chest out proudly. “I am Robin.” It’s cute how much Damian loves it. How much he’s proud of it.

Miniwing just blinks. The conversation seems to have caught the attention of his older siblings, because all talk dies down on their side of the cave.

“Wait, what?” Miniwing says.  _ “You’re _ Robin?”

“The best of them all,” Damian says proudly. 

Miniwing frowns at him. “That doesn’t make sense? Robin’s  _ mine. _ You can’t just… be Robin.”

The Batcave is already cold on a good day, but the temperature drops out at those words. It’s impressive that this kid has been here for ten minutes and has managed to touch on the  _ touchiest _ subject that ever did spring from a can of disgusting writhing worms for this group of people.

Or at least, Steph would be impressive if she isn’t so busy being concerned that it’s going to cause an all-out fight. Cass tenses up beside her as well, and  _ that’s  _ a bad sign. Steph starts trying to predict all the ways that that this conversation could really,  _ really _ go downhill.

Jason, who Steph loves but is  _ supremely  _ not a good person to have for this moment, laughs. He says, “Sorry, kid. You’ve got some hard realizations coming for ya.”

Miniwing ignores Jason completely. That must sting. He walks up to Dick. 

Dick’s face has gone pleasantly blank, but Steph’s pretty sure he can’t be having a good time.

“Why is Damian Robin?” Miniwing demands. “Nobody else can be Robin except us!”

Jason laughs. “Wait until you hear who else has been Robin,” he adds. Cass frowns at him. Steph hopes that she steps in, because otherwise Steph will have to, and she’s not sure that she can beat Jason in a fight if it really came down to it.

Miniwing narrows his eyes at Jason and says, “Who the fuck else has been Robin?”

“Richard, calm down,” Strange Mature Adult Damian calls. There’s a dangerous glint in his eye, however. Actually, there’s a dangerous look in  _ all _ of the alternate Batfamily members as they tune into the confrontation. They’re slowly drawing closer, rallying the ranks. 

In Steph’s world, Dick Grayson is the eldest of the family, and most of them lose their fucking minds when something happens to him. She doesn’t want to imagine the reactions when he’s the  _ baby _ of the family.

Jason smiles. It’s cruel and empty, and it makes Steph hurt to see it. “Me, for starters,” he says. He jerks a thumb over towards Tim. “Tim there was my replacement. And I’m pretty sure Steph had a run as well, if we’re really counting. Including Demon Brat over there, that’s a whole four other Robins, Dickie. Your exclusive club isn’t as exclusive as you thought.”

Miniwing whirls back towards Dick. He looks up at him, eyes alight and angry, and says, “Is that true?”

Dick sighs and drags a hand over his face. He says something in a language that Steph can’t understand, but Miniwing does. His eyes go wider.

Looking around, Steph sees that none of the people from her universe understand either. She thinks she spies some recognition in Strange Mature Adult Damian, however. Huh.

Miniwing spits something back in what’s presumably the same language. Then, in English, he says, “Do they even know?”

Dick gives him a helpless, hopeless smile. “No,” he says. “I never told them.”

Told them what? Steph looks around again; there’s no recognition in Cass, Jason, Tim or Damian. She knows that Dick’s not fond of sharing things, but it’s really one thing to hear it and another to realize that it’s been directly impacting her life. It’s about  _ Robin,  _ too. What hasn’t Dick told them?

When Miniwing next speaks, he sounds hurt and small. It’s a sharp contrast from the spitting anger of before, and Steph’s heart swoops.

“Why not?” he asks. “Aren’t they… aren’t you guys family?”

Further back, Steph sees Strange Oracle Tim lean over to Strange Mature Adult Damian and whisper something. Strange Mature Adult Damian, whose face has been hard for this whole conversation, shakes his head. Whispers something back.

What the fuck is going on?

Dick sighs and gets down to a knee, so that he’s on the same level as Miniwing. 

With them facing each other like that, it’s so easy to see the resemblances; Steph can see how this tiny child grows up into the Dick Grayson she knows and loves, and also see how Dick Grayson was once this small, stranger of a kid.

Dick says, “I think things are… pretty different, between our universes, Robin.” The way he says Robin makes Miniwing flinch a little. “I never told them because it wouldn’t make anything easier. It would probably just end up hurting us,”

Miniwing, eyes wide and voice small, says, “But doesn’t it hurt you? Seeing them?”

Dick shakes his head. “Not anymore. We aren’t exactly the same, but I’ll tell you something about the future.” Dick smiles. “You grow up, and you learn to let go of the things that hurt you. That’s what I did. And,” Dick looks up, giving a rueful smile to the crowd of concerned older siblings that has gathered behind Miniwing, “I think you’ll probably have a much easier time of it too.”

Miniwing’s face looks conflicted, a weird mixture of sadness and sympathy warring on his features. Jesus, he’s young. What the fuck happened with Robin to make him look so sad? How long has this been going on in Steph's world?

Miniwing crosses his arms and says, “But it still hurts, right? You haven’t… forgotten?”

“Never,” Dick says, quiet and assured.

Miniwing stares at Dick for a while longer, his jaw set. Then, he nods once. Sharp. Angry.

He turns and sends a  _ poisonous _ glare towards Jason, then stomps back towards his family.

They quickly close ranks around him, with Edgy Prep Girl Cass leaning down to pinch his cheek.

Dick turns back to them. With a rueful grin, he says, "I forgot I was like that when I was younger,"

_ "Wow,"  _ Tim says, in his fight voice. He rarely ever uses the fight voice. It’s about to go down.

"It's about to go down," Steph whispers to Cass.

Dick raises his eyebrows in question at Tim. 

Tim glares back. "Wanna tell us what that was about?"

Dick sighs. "Tim. Please drop it."

Tim scoffs. Judging from the look on his face, he’s getting  _ really _ worked up, now. 

"I know that you're fucking allergic to telling us anything, but seriously? All of us heard that conversation. If it's some significant thing to do with Robin, don't you think we deserve to know?"

Steph winces. She… honestly, she agrees with Tim, but everybody knows how Dick is. Steph kind of gave up on that avenue a long time ago. She appreciates all that he does, but waiting for Dick Grayson to open up is like waiting for a meteor to hit earth. Highly improbable, and with wide-reaching consequences if it ever did happen.

A look towards the alternate Bats show that most of them are staring at Tim incredulously. 

Dick rubs a hand across his face.

Jason, reigning king of monumentally shit timing, decides to join in then. "Come on, Dickie. Aren't we supposed to be a family?"

"Jesus Christ, how are you this much of an asshole?" Nice Prep Nerd Jason spits.

“Stay out of this,” Jason warns him. Again, Steph agrees with the sentiment, but not the terrible execution.

Next to her, Cass straightens up. Rolls her shoulders. Looks at Dick and says, “Talk when we are back home?”

Thank God for Cassandra Wayne. Steph is glad that she’s not dropping the subject completely; if Cass hadn’t wanted to talk, then Steph doubts that anybody else could convince Dick.

Dick closes his eyes.

When he opens them again, there’s a moment. The briefest flicker. A milisecond where his face turns  _ dark, _ where anger and bitterness and exhaustion and frustration cloud his features, before it clears completely. He looks at Cass, and smiles.

“Sure, Cassie,” he says softly. “If you insist.”

Tim crosses his arms. He still looks pretty mad. So does Jason, but that’s also how Jason usually looks, so Steph can’t tell if he’s happy with the verdict or not.

There’s a flurry of movement from across the Cave. Steph looks over, and catches the tail end of a string of… signs?

_ Mean,  _ Miniwing signs angrily.  _ Unfair.  _ He’s facing his family, but Steph can still  _ see, _ and it’s really not like he’s being subtle.

Edgy Prep Girl Cass nods and signs back  _ Leaving? _

Miniwing shakes his head.

“You know,” Jason calls. “We can understand that too. Just so you’re aware. You’re not having a  _ secret conference _ right now.”

Cool Villain Steph gives him an incredulous look. Steph feels about the same on the matter. She’s glad they agree.

Cool Villain Steph signs, very clearly,  _ Stay. Out. Of. This. _ Then she gives Jason the rude finger.

Steph has never loved herself more than this moment. 

“Wow,” Steph whispers to Cass. After seeing that, she feels like she should have some kind of heart-to-heart with her doppleganger. Trade advice on wrangling Tim to sleep, maybe. Or Steph could learn some cool gun tricks. They could even do each other’s nails.

Maybe. Maybe. Steph’s feeling kind of inspired now about this whole heart-to-heart thing. It kinda worked out for Dick, didn’t it? And Steph doesn’t have weird childhood baggage that could cause tension—she has it, sure, but nobody else in this cares about it like the way they would care about Robin baggage. She eyes her alternate self speculatively.

Her alternate self catches her gaze. They both just stare at each other for a bit, but then Cool Villain Steph gets up. She walks over.

Steph practically jumps up to meet her in the middle.

Cool Villain Steph looks amused. “Hi,” she says, smiling.

“Hi,” Steph replies. She feels a little embarrassed for the enthusiasm, but as far as she’s concerned, she  _ won _ the alternate self lottery today. The only person who has anything on her is Damian, who can’t even appreciate how cool his older self is because he’s so stubborn.

“I like the purple,” Cool Villain Steph says. The Spoiler costume  _ is _ very purple.

“Thanks,” Steph says with a grin. “I like the… black?”

She means that, actually. Cool Villain Steph’s outfit is simple, but incredibly wicked looking. An all-black suit with body armour, then completed with blood red boots and gloves. It’s both striking and unassuming.

Cool Villain Steph just looks at her. With anybody else, Steph would recognize that as the patented Batman ‘wait it out until they crack’ trick, but since she would never expect it from herself, she falls right for it.

She feels herself start to blush. Oh god, Cool Villain Steph is so cool, and Steph is so…  _ Steph. _

Before Steph can really think about it, she blurts, “Guess what! I died too!”

Cool Villain Steph raises her eyebrows. “Wow,” she says. “...Sorry to hear that. Snap, though?”

Steph gives her a sheepish smile. “Snap,” she replies. “Black Mask got me. I don’t know if you have him here?”

Cool Villain Steph smiles. “We do,” she says. “He calls himself Rainbow Mask, though.”

Steph gapes. “What?” she gasps, because she’s  _ so fucking mad _ that she lives in the  _ shitty  _ universe where he goes by Black Mask instead of  _ Rainbow Mask. _

Further back, Strange Oracle Tim calls, “She’s lying. He’s Black Mask here too.” 

Oh.  _ Aw. _ Steph hears Miniwing giggling at her, and she would feel embarrassed, but she’s too busy being genuinely disappointed that the Rainbow Mask thing isn’t true.

“Sorry,” Cool Villain Steph says easily, “I couldn’t resist.”

Steph waves her off. “It’s fine,” she says, because it  _ was  _ pretty funny. “I can’t blame you.”

Cool Villain Steph smiles. “Sorry that Black Mask got you. He’s a real fucking bastard. I think I might have you beat, though, if we’re comparing.”

Steph didn’t mean to compare, but she didn’t mean to  _ not _ compare. Y’know?

Cool Villan Steph says, “Good old pops got me.”

Steph’s heart drops out. It must show on her face, because Cool Villain Steph laughs and pats her on the arm.

“It’s fine,” she says, “I’m not torn up about it. Anymore, at least. It wasn’t  _ technically _ him, anyway.”

“What do you mean by that?” Steph asks. Her voice is kinda shaky. Behind them, all of Cool Villain Steph’s family is watching on with stony looks and narrowed eyes.

Cool Villain Steph shrugs. “It was a classic Jokes ‘n Clues teamup.” 

Jokes ‘n Clues? Does that mean… Joker and Cluemaster? Her father had teamed up with the  _ Joker? _

Cool Villain Steph reads the revelation off of Steph’s face. “Yup,” she confirms. “Joker was the one to actually do the deed, but, Cluemaster made the call. Y’know. It was all very who gives the order for the bomb and who presses the button,”

Steph feels… not great, but she puts on her best Dick Grayson smile and tries not to show it. She has no idea if it works or not. 

“I’m… sorry to hear that,” she says. Cool Villain Steph shrugs.

“It’s cool.” She looks over her shoulder, and jerks a thumb towards Strange Mature Adult Damian. “He put a knife through Cluemaster’s heart for me, and I... worked all the Joker related trauma out of my system, so I’m mostly fine now.”

Steph stares at Strange Mature Adult Damian. She’s aware that her family is listening in on this conversation, because there’s been no noise or activity coming from behind her at all, so they must have heard that too.

The thought of that, she finds, makes her feel worse than anything else she’s heard so far that night. Previously, she had thought that this universe was significantly more put together than her own, but now…

But now, it consolidates in her mind that no matter what, no matter where, and no matter who: the Batfamily will always be very fucked up.

Strange Mature Adult Damian sighs. “Stephanie,” he says shortly. “There’s no reason to be doing this,”

Cool Villain Steph seems to withdraw into herself, crossing her arms and pursing her lips. She looks at Strange Mature Adult Damian, and then back at Steph.

“Sorry,” she says. “I’m kind of an asshole.”

Well, that Steph gets. She’s friends with Jason, after all. This time, she’s the one shrugging it off.

“It’s cool,” she tells her alternate self, echoing her words. “It’s good to hear.” She steps back.

Cool Villain Steph smiles at her. It’s faint. Kinda clumsy. But still genuine. Cool Villain Steph might be cool, but she’s also a bit of a mess. Steph gets that.

She says, “Don’t let Black Mask get you, okay?”

“Okay,” Cool Villain Steph laughs. “Same for you, alright? Don’t let that bastard fuck you up any more than he already has,”

Steph nods. 

She takes in a deep breath, then walks back to her family. Cass and Dick are both smiling at her. Tim looks… impressed.

She can’t place Jason’s expression. She sits down next to him.

He gives her a long look. One that has no anger. Only consideration, and curiosity.

He says, “What’s up, Blondie?”

Steph gestures towards Nice Prep Nerd Jason, who is badly hiding the fact that he’s sending them looks. “Go talk to him.”

Jason snorts. “After seeing you and Dick go through it? No thank you, I am not dealing with that.”

Steph bats him on the shoulder. “It’s  _ enlightening, _ asshole,” she says. “Seriously. At least go and try to convince him that you’re  _ not _ an incorrigble asshole.”

Jason gives her a weak smile. “What if that’s exactly what I am, though?” he asks.

“What you are,” Steph says, “is avoiding the topic. Go.”

And maybe it’s because she’s right, or maybe it’s because she’s the one that Black Mask got, or maybe it’s because Jason respects what she says, but Jason gets up. Shoves his hands deep in his pockets. Casts a sidelong glance at his counterpart.

Eyes down, he walks over. 

From across the room, Cool Villain Steph catches her eye and gives her a thumbs up.

Oh,  _ yeah. _ Steph’s so good at this.

Cool Villain Steph holds up the thumbs up for a few moments more, which is super nice of her, because it means it’s Steph’s last sight before she feels her stomach drop out and her brain start to scramble. As she feels herself slipping away, she tries to commit the image of her giving a thumbs up to herself to memory forever.

Then, everything goes black.

* * *

When Tim comes to, he’s lying on what he immediately identifies as the Batcave floor. He guesses he should feel ashamed that he’s fallen asleep or eaten shit on these training mats so many times that he can pinpoint it that quickly, but he just feels vaguely proud. God. He’s a broken man.

He’s also a suffocating man, because he’s just realized that there’s a literal pile of people on top of him. Wriggling, he says, “What the fuck?”

With groans and more curses, everybody else comes to. Tim struggles a little harder, just to give them the clear image that they need to  _ get the fuck off. _

It takes another few minutes for people to start rolling off of him. By the time he’s free, he’s panting from breathlessness. At least the ground is nice and cold. He puts his head down.

“Are we in our own universe?” Dick asks. “Please tell me we’re in our own universe.”

There’s a huff, and a swish of cape. Tim sighs and raises his head from to see Batman looking down at him.

He’s holding… No. Tim’s hallucinating.

“Is that… Starbucks?” Steph asks. 

Alright. Not hallucinating.

Behind Batman, Zatanna waves. She’s holding a Starbucks cup as well.

“Hey guys,” she says. “Good to see you all have your limbs attached in the right places.”

That’s when Tim takes in the fact that they’re all piled in a giant summoning circle. He fucking hates magic.

He rubs his eyes, just to make sure it really isn’t an illusion. When he opens them again, and still sees the coffee frappuccino in Batman’s hand, he has to ask. He has to.

“Why do you have Starbucks?”

Batman brings the straw to his mouth, and takes a drink. A really long drink. A drink so long that he finishes the rest of it, and for a few seconds, he’s just sucking up air through the straw.

Tim closes his eyes again. 

Batman clears his throat, and says, “I have been awake for approximately 56 hours working to get you all back.” God, Tim’s head aches just hearing that. “At one point, Alfred refused to give me more coffee, so I outsourced.”

Tim opens his eyes again. Yup, definitely  _ definitely _ not a hallucination. They all stare at the empty cup in Batman’s hand.

Batman says, “Take a picture. It will last longer.”

Jason scoffs and pulls himself into sitting position. “Honestly, old man,” he mutters, “not even top ten weirdest thing I’ve seen today.”

They all make murmurs of assent. 

Batman slips off his cowl. He looks… really fucking bad, wow. Is that what Tim looks like after his no-sleep benders? Yikes. He needs to stop doing that.

“What happened? Where did you guys go?” Bruce asks.

Sprawled on the training mats of the Batcave, deeply exhausted, thoroughly unnerved and slightly confused, all of Bruce’s kids look at each other. They all come to the same agreement.

“You don’t want to know,” Cass says, and well. That’s final. 

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like this should've been a 20k fic but god i am trying so hard to get one of these out for every day of batfam week so... condensed version!


End file.
